Given by Glenda Lindsay to the Bristol Wives at their Christmas Meeting December 1988

I warmly welcome you all to my home today.  This room has seen many gatherings

of Wives during my years as a Wife, almost half a lifetime!  Jackie Forbes-Nixon introduced me back in 1969 and now 20 years later I shall be moving on to S.W.F.  Wives have occupied a fairly large and very special part of my life, including the making of some of my closest friends.  I soon learnt why Wives is so special through our much loved founder, May Bush. She taught us that we are not just another Women’s organisation but a Fellowship - it is not so much about what we get out of WF but what we put into it.  So we must also remember our motto ‘Our fellowship is with Christ and one with another’.  Bishop Wall, at a memorable Cambridge Annual Day (1978) said that ‘every member is special and has something to contribute and if everyone is given the opportunity to participate, the richer the Fellowship will become; it is always in giving that we receive

I am only one

I can’t do everything

But what I do

I will do with the help of God

 

In 1972 when Rae Macpherson was Chairman I joined the committee.  After one year she was succeeded by Pamela Halford and during that time I organised our annual outing and became vice chairman in Pamela’s second year.  However, I had no idea and was absolutely bowled over when she asked me to be the 1975/76 Chairman! (In Bristol  past Chairmen meet together to elect the new Chairman which is held as an honour).  I felt then that I was rather young as my youngest son was only 6 so I had to think about it very deeply - I did not even tell my husband for a week!  When I did I had his instant approval and backing and I said ‘yes’.  He used to refer to himself as ‘The Queen Bee’s Consort’!  As Chairman I was determined to do the job 100% to the best of my ability which entailed participating in all the Regional Days, Annual Days, Conferences etc.  During these occasions I got to know so many Wives from other branches, all enriching experiences within the Fellowship and now I have friends all round the country.  I would encourage all of you newer Wives to take the opportunity to go on these ‘away days’ whenever you can. However you must remember the most important point which I always encouraged my accompanying Wives to do.  You all travel together in the car, so once you reach your destination do not stand in a Bristol bunch but go out and meet other Wives - it is so easy to introduce yourself with the badges we all wear. Never, never sit next to a Bristol wife at a meal!  Then you will add to a wider circle of friends and experiences as I have done over the years.

Now for a resume of the Away Days I have attended with the important, insignificant and amusing points which help me to remember them.

1972 - Annual Day, Guildford.  The service in the modern Cathedral and the afternoon walk round the lovely Wesley Royal Horticultural Gardens.

1973 -  Our Bristol Regional Day and my first.  The 9th century Westbury Parish Church was the service venue and as Vice Chairman I read the lesson.  After an excellent lunch we had a Museum talk with slides which was rather boring so most of us dozed off!

1974 -  Autumn Conference, Winchester. ‘Our Future with Europe’.  Isobel Hamnet and I stayed with a charming New Zealand hostess who was a Cathedral Guide and so able to give us a personal tour of the Cathedral prior to our Service. The carved woman’s face with a protruding tongue - a gossiping wife - under one of the choir stall seats sticks out in my memory!  Then at the end of the 2nd day nipping away early like two naughty schoolgirls playing truant to have tea in a fabulous Salisbury cake shop.

1975 - Annual Day, Bath.  Because there was no Branch there then, Bristol were the hosts under the guidance of the Central Organiser.  Yvonne Weinbren and I were detailed to meet the Wives arriving by train.  Normal passengers emerged and then an increasing crescendo of female voices was heard to which Yvonne said’ here come the hatted brigade’ because in those days we all wore hats!

1975 - Autumn Conference, Cheltenham.  ‘Aspects of Cheltenham’.  Dinner was held in the Boys College Dining Room where we all sat at long refectory tables and then in our long evening skirts we had to leg it over to the benches to fetch our food from the serving kitchen!

The most poignant memory of that conference were the words of the Wife sitting opposite (I do not remember her name or our conversation) who quoted Deuteronomy 33:27 ‘The eternal God is our refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms’.  This verse has always come to mind at times of feeling low or in difficulty.

1976 - The Diamond Jubilee Year, Annual Day, Worcester.  We took May Bush who was the guest of honour and she cut the special Jubilee Cake.

1976 - Autumn Conference, Haywards Heath. ‘The City of London -  a Future for our Past’. Following a detailed tour the evening dinner was held in the splendid surroundings of the Brighton Royal Pavilion - a fitting setting for the Jubilee Dinner.  At the Conference the most distinguished speaker was Lady Donaldson, the First Lady Alderman for 700 years, who discovered problems when court dress decreed breeches and a sword!  The jovial Vicar of St Lawrence Jewry, former Naval Chaplain talked of his church flat as ‘living over the shop’.

1977 - Annual Day, Warwick. Michael Smith, culinary expert and TV personality was the enthusiastic and humorous speaker.  One of his many anecdotes was about an ardent committee member who asked his age to which his reply was ‘between 45 and death’.

1977 - 4th June.  May Bush was 90 and we held a special birthday party.

1977 - Autumn Conference, Rugby.  ‘The Family under Fire’.  For me this was a truly memorable conference.  Following supper at various school houses we were treated to a marvellous entertainment in the school theatre by WF and SWF.  Next day lunch was provided to each wife individually in boxes - all a fitting tribute to our Queen in her Jubilee Year as she is one of the best upholders of family life and motherhood.

1978 Pamela Halford became Central Chairman. During her term of office, I acted as her chauffeur on many occasions ( recorded in the Spring Magazine 1978) with hilarious consequences.  At the Conference when Pamela came to the final summing up, my Tunbridge Wells friend, Jane Dixon-Clarke, always said ‘this is the best part of the day’.

1978 Annual Day, Cambridge.  An extensive tour of a number of colleges was nostalgic for me because my husband had been at Magdalene and I trained as a midwife at Mill Road Hospital.  I stayed the night in a typical student house where the occupants were obviously not expecting ‘lady‘ visitors!

1978 - Autumn Conference Wimbledon.  ‘Enrichment through the Arts’. Rev David Wickert preached about all the arts being included with the spiritual side of life.  John 10:10 ‘I come that they may have life in all its fullness and in all abundance’.  The Conference, on one of the hottest days of the season, was held at the London Institute of Directors. I remember eating lunch sitting on the impressive grand staircase of this 1827 Nash palace with Wives overflowing into the lobbies and other elegant rooms.  What a shock for any director unwise enough to use his club that day!

1978 September. Bristol Regional Day which I organised with Yvonne Weinbren.    David Hurford, our speaker, took us on a whirlwind slide tour of classical Europe.  At tea, a visiting Wife told me that the entire long zip on the back of my dress had disintegrated!

1979 - Autumn Conference, Oxted, Sandersread and Woldingham.  ‘Harmony or Discord in our Society’.  The fourth speaker was a Monk and cousin of one of our members.  Father Stephen Ortiger of Worth Abbey, who contributed some delightfully witty and urbane touches - parents get the children they deserve!

1980 - Autumn Conference, Bristol. ‘The World About Us’.  I chaired these enjoyable two days with the help of a very hard working committee and the participation of every single branch member.  I stressed attention to detail down to the single roses placed in the men’s urinals (changed to ‘Ladies’ for the day, but forgot about our male speakers)!

1981 - Autumn Conference, Lancaster.  The only one I missed because I had just returned to part time nursing.

1982 - Annual Day, Stratford. A beautiful sunny day when we walked from Shakespeare’s Holy Trinity Church to the theatre where we had lunch overlooking the river.  In the afternoon we watched a marvellous performance of Macbeth plus the extraordinary coincidence of the random seating placing me next to my dear old nursing friend Jane Dixon-Clarke from Tunbridge Wells!

1982 - Autumn  Conference, Sevenoaks and Tunbridge Wells.  ‘Aspects of Leisure’.  The first speaker, Rev. Nicholas Stacey startled us somewhat by enquiring if we were all married!  The venue was Hever Castle and we all enjoyed the tour around this moated Manor House and love nest of Henry VIII.

1983 - September. Another Bristol Regional Day. I organised when David Ponting delighted us with his performance as Dylan Thomas.

1983 - Autumn Conference, Guildford.  ‘Tomorrow and Beyond’.  The service was held in the Chapel of Charterhouse and the magnificent music and singing was by the school orchestra and choir.  Most of all I remember these words from the sermon given by the Headmaster, Peter Attenborough.  ‘I find very little wrong with today’s young people - but I do see a great deal wrong with the parents’.  He asked every parent present to insist that their children observed the rules laid down by their own families and not other people’s.  Where parents have high standards and insisting on them they will get nothing but respect from their children.  At the Conference the most amusing and colourful character was the tall, impressive Dean of Guilford with his gleaming white braces over a black clerical shirt!

1984 - Autumn Conference, Nottingham. ‘reflections of the Consumer Society’. This branch treated us to three very distinguished speakers - Mrs Edwina Curie, Dr Elizabeth Cottrell (one of Mrs Thatcher’s speech writers) and Jonathan Porritt who said ’we must concern ourselves with future generations- we must think globally and act locally’.  The truly poignant words came from the Rev. Malcolm Goldsmith.  ‘People are more important than material things.  You cannot buy health, happiness and peace.  Do not make material possessions your idol; do not expect them to work for you, accept them as a blessing from God.

1985 - Autumn Conference, Warwick.  Views from the Heart of England.  The tour of Warwick Castle with the fabulous waxwork rendition of a Royal Week-end House Party stands out in my memory.

1986 Autumn Conference , East Cheshire.  ‘A Question of Instinct’.  The service was held in Wilmslow `parish Church (my husband’s home town) and I remember the amusement we had watching the Manchester Grammar School Choir Boys fighting outside prior to their beautiful singing in the church!  The moving reading by Joan Solomon from the Tao of Pooh expounded the Conference them.

1987 - Autumn Conference, Oxford.  ‘Preservation’.  My last WF Conference, a very happy and extremely interesting one.  I stayed with a charming Senior Wife in Wolvercote.  She took me on an early evening walk, over the Common Meadows where through the the Autumn mists we could see the‘dreaming spires of Oxford’.

And now we have come full circle - it is our annual Christmas celebration when we begin to get into the spirit of this festive season in a variety of different ways.  It is our last Autumn Term meeting and my last meeting as a Wife.  I now bid you all farewell and thank you all for the fun and fellowship we have shared together.  As I move on into Seniors I know that it will be just the same, but older, and so very rewarding as I renew friendships from past years in Bristol and throughout the country.